I am so upset. I am SO UPSET. I don’t like when I am upset because I don’t know how the fuck to deal with this emotions. My nerves are completely breaking down and me with them. I mean. I talk. A shit lot. I voice out stuff. I explain. Well … I try. But … Continue reading Day ??? – Sterile talks →
I’ve been unwell these last days. Bad sleep. Long exhausting days. Pain. I need to rest but nothing seems to go in this direction so I just take things to the point I will explode or collapse. I can’t ask my husband for more that what he can take and since he won’t ask for … Continue reading Day 14 – Off days →
I just wrote something on one my Facebook group after seeing an interesting post about Autism and ADHD and how it affects me. I need routine.I need to move.But I need to be still too.I am exhausted.I am full of everything.I need to move more.I need to sleep.My brain is still awake at night. My … Continue reading Day 11 – Organizing the chaos →
I always thought once I would have had my diagnosis I would find a way to advocate for others. For autism. For awareness. But it’s been almost a year and even though I’m openly talking about how my life is with autism, I feel like I also lost my voice. Today I had a chance … Continue reading Day 8 – Voice →
Today was hard. I went through a really rough night where I kept choking on my saliva – this problem is related to my conversion disorder – and my body hurts. I spent almost the entire day unable to function because of the pain despite taking painkillers. This is hard mentally to stay positive when … Continue reading Day 7 – Pain →
This is the first time since I started this blog that I actually use my computer instead of my phone.It doesn’t change much for me except maybe I can visualize better if what I write is actually readable. I start to see the light. I took my Ritaline today – ADHD medication for those that … Continue reading Day 6 – Light →
I had a difficult night because of my health issues. But I still manage to sleep better each day.Slowly but surely I get better routine.I just wish I was going through less struggles. I still haven’t been able to find a way to not forget about my medication and therapeutic exercises. I have alarms. I … Continue reading Day 5 – Life goes on →
I was worried today. Because I knew it was my job to go outside to look for something for my son’s birthday. And since I haven’t been outside for months, I felt lots of anxiety building all morning to the point I had to convince myself that it would be okay. “You do that for … Continue reading Day 4 – The outside world →
I’ve been doing good today.I keep repeating to myself,“One step after the other, Lou, one step”And I feel less of my own pressure on my shoulders. I had an interesting call with one of my therapist today (for those who wonder, I am autistic with ADHD and conversion disorder so I see ton shit of … Continue reading Day 3 (new life) →
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